In this post, I’m helping you overcome Mom guilt. That ugly feeling that comes from a place of love. All moms have felt it at one point or another. And it comes in all different forms. “Did my kid watch too much TV today?” “Did I include all the food groups in their dinner tonight?” Mom guilt can be harmful and nasty for moms to go through. But here’s the thing, you’re not alone. And there is a way out!
Tips to Help you Overcome Your Mom Guilt
These intrusive thoughts all come from a good place, but we have to remember that as moms, we’re all just trying to do our best given our circumstances and what we know. Basically, we’re all doing the best that we can.
Another common source of mom guilt comes from taking time to ourselves. It’s so important to overcome mom guilt so that we can spend more time, taking better care of ourselves too!
Before kids, we probably did whatever we wanted when we wanted to, many of us now second guess taking time to do the things WE want to do aside from being a mom! So, here are my 5 tips to overcome mom guilt so you can live a more fulfilling life. And feel guilt-free taking some time to yourself!
1. Start small
If you’ve never left your child with a babysitter before, you’re not going to easily enjoy a 2-week retreat with your significant other while you leave them with grandma and be ok the whole trip. Take baby steps! Start by choosing a hobby that you enjoy and taking several hours a week to take part in that hobby.
Whether it’s taking a fitness class, taking the time to go painting, or hey even going out for a cup of coffee in peace in the morning…choose something that recharges you. You can always build up to that two-week retreat one day!!
2. Learn to stop the intrusive thoughts
Think about the last time you felt mom guilt, any type of mom guilt, not just that associated with taking time for yourself. How did it creep in? You start having these nagging thoughts that “maybe I’m not doing enough” or “maybe I’m not doing this mom thing right.” Let me tell you something: the fact that you’re even questioning whether you’re a good mom…means you’re a good mom!
Because only a good mom would care if she was doing right by her kids! So rest assured that you.are.doing.your.best. You wouldn’t talk like that to someone else, be kind to yourself. Stop being your own worst critic! You’re doing a great job, so relax and feel guilt-free taking some time for self-care.
3. Think about the benefits of “me time”
I’ve actually written a blog on this before, the reasons why it’s important to place yourself first. many of the benefits here, you, first of all, feel better mentally when you take time for yourself. If your me-time involves working out (psst: you should take time to work out!!) you’ll experience physical health benefits as well.
Taking time for yourself will help you prevent resentment towards your kids and/or spouse. Because as much as we like to think we’re superwoman and can do it all without fail or break, resentment can sneak up on you and you will reach a boiling point. Happy mom=happy family! It also provides you with a sense of self, something so very important to preventing that resentment we talked about!
Read more about the 7 reasons why it’s important to place yourself first by checking out my blog here!
4. You deserve it, and you need to remind yourself of that!
Plain and simple, you deserve time to yourself. If you’re questioning at all whether you deserve alone time or not, let me reiterate some of what many moms do in a day. You make meals. Drive kids to school or activities. You dress them. Bathe them. Clean up messes. Change diapers. Schedule appointments. Take kids to said appointments. Buy holiday presents and birthday gifts. Help with homework. Clean the house. Do laundry.
Not to mention the mental load of remembering to keep up with bills and doctor visits and school forms and so on. I mean I got tired just listing all those! Now, who in their right mind would think you don’t deserve time to unwind with the sort of schedule most moms have!? Remind yourself whenever that mom guilt creeps in: “I deserve this!”
5. Think of the benefits to your kids
If all else fails, and you’re still flip-flopping on whether you should go ahead and spend some time for yourself, reframe the idea of “me time” in your mind. In addition to thinking of the benefits to you, think about the benefits to your kids and family. By taking time to yourself, you are making yourself more mentally available to your family. No one likes dealing with a burnt-out person.
It’s actually not fair to your kids or yourself if you don’t take time for yourself to recharge. Your stress will transfer over to your kids, and no mom wants that. And again, if you’re taking the time to work out, you’re benefiting your kids in several ways as well. As you work out you improve your health.
Improved health means a more energetic and healthy mom, which also means a mom with a better mood too. You also are setting an amazing example for them. Kids always do as you do (not as you say, as the saying goes!) So set a good example early. Set them up for a life of fitness themselves, what an amazing gift you can give to your child!
So I hope I’ve encouraged you to take time out of your day for yourself. Of course, as a fitness coach, I’m going to HIGHLY recommend that you take time to work out as I have seen firsthand all the positive impacts that taking care of your physical health can improve how you show up as a mom, partner, worker…
If you are ready to start kicking the mom guilt to the curve and work on creating the best version of yourself so you can look (and feel) amazing for this holiday season family pictures, come join the next 5 Week Super Shred Challenge!
Save this post to Pinterest to inspire and help other mamas overcome their mom guilt. You can also follow me for more @nathaliamelofit.