Why negative self talk can sabotage your fitness journey

“My body is disgusting!” “My butt looks gross,” “I look like a whale”, “I can’t lose weight!” All this negative Nancy self talk I hear, especially from mothers, has to stop. I have been a trainer for about 10 years, and now am a mother myself, and I still can’t wrap my head around why people (mothers in particular) talk about their own body this way.

Your thoughts and sayings have a big impact on your reality. The mind-body connection is often talked about in fitness circles—it’s an important thing to acknowledge if you want to be successful in getting fit.

I hear too many moms with a defeatist attitude, as if they are resigning themselves to a life of being unhappy with their bodies.


YOU are magical, beautiful creatures that carried a human inside of you for the better part of a year! Carrying and bearing a child is an underrated flippin’ miracle! And accepting and embracing the changes that comes with child birth is a challenge we all face. And yeah I get it. It’s super hard to see your after baby body and accept and appreciate it. But give yourself some credit for what your body is able to do and take these tips towards positivity to the mirror.  

On the one hand, understand that your body may look different in some ways after you’ve had children. But it is NOT disgusting, or ugly, or gross. You are not a whale or a cow or any of the other demeaning terms I’ve heard women using to describe themselves. When you see yourself in the mirror, think positively. Think “in 2 months I’d like my belly to look better” or “Today I will start my journey to fitness”.

All this is not some new age philosophy either, but is grounded in science. A recent article titled “Why Saying is Believing, the Science of Self Talk” explains this perfectly. While there have been no definitive studies on the subject, many scientists agree that the way we describe things to ourselves has an actual impact on how we see those things. “The underlying notion is that it’s not enough for a patient to lose physical weight — or gain it, as some women need to — if she doesn’t also change the way her body looks in her mind’s eye.” the article states.

David Sarwer, a psychologist and clinical director at the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania, was interviewed for the piece. He said that he tells his patients to watch their internal dialogue to themselves. Instead of negative self talk like calling their belly disgusting, for example, they are instructed to describe their belly as “big” and pair it with an actionable phrase such as “I want to make it smaller.” The power of positive thinking should not be taken lightly!

If you’re serious about making a change, and just need some help or a push to get there, I am here for you! Check out my Mother Strong League. Our amazing group will not only inspire you, but also encourage, motivate, and help you get fit, and of course, you’ll find lots of positivity!