I’ll be the first to admit that I LOVE social media. It’s a big part of my professional and personal life, and it’s done so much to help me over the years.
Thanks to social media, I get to travel while keeping in touch with friends and relatives, plus it’s what helped me grow my coaching business. So, yeah…you could say I’m pretty darn grateful for it! (Thanks, Mark Zuk!)
Today, social media is a HUGE part of our lives. But we’re also sharing things we’ve never shared before…like private stuff that we might never have said aloud! If you stop to think about it, it’s actually a bit crazy. I’ve even talked about my botox and under-eye fillers on my Instagram account…so, totally guilty of it!
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. In fact, I think it’s a moral responsibility: more influencers should talk candidly about enhancing procedures, lifestyle ups and downs, career struggles, and more—so no one walks away with unrealistic expectations.
Which brings me to what this blog is actually about: the other side of social media! Because like a lot of good things, social media definitely does have two sides.
Maybe you’ve heard this saying: “Comparison is the thief of joy.’’ This is exactly the problem…because comparison is what’s constantly happening every single time we open those little squares on our phones.
The Truth About All Those #RelationshipGoals
When you head over to the #Gram, all you see are perfect bodies, perfect relationships, perfect families, perfect jobs. How could we not make comparisons? Especially when we’re sitting here worrying about how the hell we’re going to work tomorrow when the babysitter just cancelled and we literally have no idea what we are going to do with the kids. (Not very perfect of us, is it?)
I actually have a funny story: when I first started dating my husband, I used to expect him to do things I saw all those #InstaPerfect couples doing on social media. (#RelationshipGoals!) I wondered why he didn’t write love posts about us, and why he didn’t attend any of my competitions and cheered loudly for me like all the other #CuteCouples did. The expectations were based on those InstaPerfect couples, and I soon realized that my relationship didn’t have to be like that nor did it have to give the impression it was perfect, in order to be right.
At first, those unrealistic expectations stole some of our special moments—but thank goodness I quickly realized that my husband (then boyfriend) didn’t need to scream our love to the world all the time. Nor did he need to write mushy social media posts for me to know that what we had was real…and that he just had his own way of showing it, just like I have my own way of showing my love, in a way that’s different from a picture-perfect social media romance.
Why You Can’t Get That #InstaPerfect Appearance
The same comparison rule holds true when it comes to appearance…especially during and after pregnancy. You see these amazing social media posts of equally amazing ladies walking out of the hospital wearing their size 0 skinny jeans and 5-inch stiletto heels. Three days later, they somehow have…a six pack!? (But hooow??)
After my pregnancy, I documented my whole postnatal journey…the good, the bad, and the ugly! Cellulite, wrinkly skin, and everything in between—I shared it all. Because honestly, I don’t ever want to be a source of “unreal perfection’’ when people look to compare themselves to my photos online. I am always self-policing, because I want to make sure the message I’m sending out is the exact one I stand for: my life isn’t perfect, my kids aren’t perfect, and my marriage isn’t perfect. (Maybe I should start posting about all the times I literally want to put my husband to sleep in the garden because he can’t put a damn glass INSIDE the dishwasher…as in, not next to it, but actually IN it?)
I just want you to understand that everyone has problems, and nobody’s life is perfect…no matter how perfect those photos look on social media. So please take a minute to look around you, and to appreciate and be grateful for those you love, and everything you have, without comparing it to anyone else’s.
And always remember: The grass is always greener where you water it.