In this episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast, Coach Jen and I go Unfiltered and Unscripted with questions straight from our members.
You know what to do. That's the part that makes it so frustrating. So why do the wheels keep coming off at month four or five, every single time?
Here's the line I keep coming back to, and I know it sounds a little harsh: if you actually knew what to do, you'd have done it already. Knowing the tagline is not the same as knowing how to live it inside a real life with real responsibilities. Most people understand getting in shape the way most people understand getting rich. Spend less than you make. If it were that simple, everyone would be a millionaire. The tagline was never the solution.
Coach Jen and I pulled questions from our members and let it run. We got into why consistency really falls apart, and it usually has nothing to do with being lazy and everything to do with clinging to what worked in a season of life that is long gone. What I did when I was competing does not serve the life I have now, and if I keep trying to force it, I'm going to fail and then call myself the problem. From there we went into being coachable, the labels that quietly keep you small, and the one thing running underneath all of it: your schedule.
In this episode, we talk about:
- Why thinking you know what to do and actually knowing how to do it are not the same thing
- The reason consistency falls apart at month four or five, and why it isn't laziness
- What being coachable actually means, and how to tell if you are
- The one daily habit that gives you the biggest return on your health
- How labeling yourself keeps you stuck
- Why your brain craves comfort, and how you can rewire it
- The link between having no schedule and living in constant anxiety
- How to build a routine that survives vacations, holidays, and curveballs
If you've been stuck in the loop of starting over every few months and calling yourself the problem, this one is going to hit. Stop renegotiating your health every holiday and start building something solid enough that life can throw a curveball without knocking you flat.
Ever wish you had a fit and straightforward BFF with over 15 years of experience to help you filter through all the information regarding fitness, nutrition, and life? That's exactly what you'll get when you listen to the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast.
Join Former Bikini Olympia Champion, mom of 2, and fitness coach Nathalia Melo each week as she shares fitness, nutrition, and life tips to help busy working moms simplify their fitness journey so they can learn easy and simple strategies on how to lose weight and feel sexy AF.
After helping over 5000 busy working moms, Nathalia has found the blueprint to fitness, nutrition, and life success, which she will be sharing in this podcast: actionable tips that will help busy working moms be more present at work and at home.
This show is for you if you realize that nothing good comes from your comfort zone and are ready to challenge yourself to achieve great things. Follow Unfiltered Fit Life wherever you are listening to join us each week for a splash of sass, humor, and a whole lotta truth.
Podcast Transcript
The Labels That Are Quietly Limiting Your Results, With Coach Jen
Why Knowing Isn't Doing
The first member question was why some people know exactly what to do but struggle to stay consistent, and I stopped right at the word "know." Thinking you know what to do and actually knowing how to do it are two different things, and ego keeps people from admitting the difference. Most of us understand the concept of getting in shape the way we understand getting rich, but the tagline was never the answer. Consistency falls apart when you stay married to a strategy that doesn't fit the season of life you're actually in.
Self-Worth and the Seasons We're In
Coach Jen brought it back to self-worth, because when we don't feel like we deserve our own care, discipline gets harder to sustain. We both talked about how our priorities shifted from our 20s to our 40s, and how growth means adjusting your perspective instead of clinging to pride about who you used to be. What I could do when I was competing with a three-year-old and a full-time job is not what I can do now, and forcing it would land me in a padded room. Adapting isn't failure, it's maturity.
What It Actually Means to Be Coachable
We spent real time on coachability, because it's at the center of staying stuck. Being coachable means opening your mind to other perspectives, listening to learn instead of to respond, and having the patience to accept there's no quick fix. I added that it also means ownership, and Coach Jen offered a reframe I loved: stop seeing your coach as someone judging you and start seeing them as an educator who knows a few things you don't. If your immediate reaction to feedback is to feel attacked, that's the thing to look at.
The Habit With the Biggest Return
When a member asked which daily habit gives the biggest return on your health, Coach Jen answered without hesitation: what time you wake up. Your morning sets the tone for the entire day. We got into how labels like "I'm not a morning person" or "I always fail after five months" quietly limit you, and how the brain craves comfort so it steers you back to whatever you've programmed as normal. I shared my own story of believing I was bad with money until I changed the environment and the internal script, and everything flipped.
Rewiring the Story You Tell Yourself
Coach Jen broke down the science of it, because neuroplasticity means you can rewrite your narrative at any age. It takes longer and it takes more effort, but the process is simple: change how you think and what you say to yourself. If you keep telling yourself you'll fail at month five, you'll keep failing, because it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your behavior follows what you believe about yourself, so the belief is where the work starts.
Why No Schedule Means Constant Anxiety
The common thread across nearly every woman we talk to is overwhelm and anxiety, and so much of it traces back to living with no structure. Anxiety is fear of the unknown, so when your whole day is unknown, of course you feel on edge. I'm the same, I have anxiety traits too, and I built a schedule specifically to shrink the unknown. When you don't know what's a priority, every yes feels required, because you can't see what each yes is quietly costing you.
Boundaries and What You Say Yes To
Structure is what lets you set boundaries, and boundaries are what protect the things that actually make you a better person. I don't say yes to a weeknight out, not because I'm obsessed, but because I know exactly who I am when I skip my sleep and my morning. Coach Jen pointed out that people who say yes to everything are often chasing outside validation instead of the internal kind. The exception is not the rule, and when everything becomes an exception, it just becomes your new normal.
A Routine That Survives Real Life
The last question was how to build a routine that survives vacations, holidays, and unexpected life events, and it starts with treating fitness as a lifestyle instead of a label with a deadline. Working out should sit right next to brushing your teeth, something you do, not a decision you renegotiate every holiday. When I travel my workouts aren't perfect, and that's fine, because three good-enough sessions will always beat one perfect one every other week. Life is already going to throw curveballs, so build a foundation solid enough that a curveball flusters you without breaking you.
