Somewhere along the way you decided your goal was unrealistic. Not too hard, not too far off, just flat out unrealistic for someone with your age, your schedule, your body. I want to show you why that is the wrong conclusion, and the wrong question entirely.
I had a conversation last week with a former competitor who kept telling me she just wanted to feel good and stay consistent. When I pushed her, what came out was that she did not want to look the way she did when she competed. So I asked her the question that changes everything: is it that you do not want that result, or is it that you are not willing to do the one method you know to get there? For her, the goal was never the problem. The five and six hour training days she used to reach it were the problem.
I have lived this myself. After I had my two kids 14 months apart, if you had asked me to get back to my Olympia physique, I would have said no way, because the only path I knew was training five to six hours a day and I did not have those hours. What I could not see then is that the destination was never unrealistic. My method was. When you say your goal is unrealistic, nine times out of ten you actually mean your old strategy is unrealistic, or the timeline you are demanding is unrealistic, and both of those are fixable.
In this episode, I talk about:
- Why "I just want to feel good" is a vibe, not a goal
- The question I asked a former competitor that reframed everything
- The England analogy that changes how you see every goal
- Why the keto win you loved always came back
- The real reason people gain weight as they age
- What you can control versus what you cannot
- How I stay within 5 pounds of my Olympia weight at 42
- Why the person you become is what lets you keep the result
Age, injuries, and even menopause become the reasons you stop trying, when the data actually shows people gain weight with age mostly because they get more sedentary, not because their body betrayed them. Focus on what you can control, adjust the plan, give yourself an honest timeline, and the goal you wrote off comes right back into reach. If you want help separating what is genuinely out of your control from the plan and the timeline that just need fixing, book a Clarity Power Call with me.
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Join Former Bikini Olympia Champion, mom of 2, and fitness coach Nathalia Melo each week as she shares fitness, nutrition, and life tips to help busy working moms simplify their fitness journey so they can learn easy and simple strategies on how to lose weight and feel sexy AF.
After helping over 5000 busy working moms, Nathalia has found the blueprint to fitness, nutrition, and life success, which she will be sharing in this podcast: actionable tips that will help busy working moms be more present at work and at home.
This show is for you if you realize that nothing good comes from your comfort zone and are ready to challenge yourself to achieve great things. Follow Unfiltered Fit Life wherever you are listening to join us each week for a splash of sass, humor, and a whole lotta truth.
Podcast Transcript
Is Your Goal Realistic? Easy Steps to Find Out If You're Setting Yourself Up for Success or Failure
THE WRONG QUESTION
So many women come to me with no clear goal because they are afraid of setting one that is not "realistic," and that fear leaves them stuck with vague vibes like "I just want to feel good." I think the whole idea of a goal being realistic or unrealistic is what keeps women capping themselves at mediocre goals or no goals at all. In this episode I break that question apart, because if you are asking whether your goal is realistic, you are asking the wrong question.
FEELING GOOD IS NOT A GOAL
I recently spoke with a former competitor who kept telling me she wanted to feel good, be comfortable, and stay consistent, and I had to be honest that "feel good" is a vibe, not a goal. When she said she did not want to look the way she did on stage, I asked her whether it was truly the look she rejected, or the extreme method she used to get there. For her, and for so many of you, the physique was never the problem. The unsustainable path she took to reach it was.
THE ENGLAND ANALOGY
Imagine telling me it is unrealistic to get to England because the only way you know how is to swim there. Swimming across the ocean is unrealistic, but England is not, because you can fly or take a cruise instead. Your goal works the same way. The destination is rarely the thing that is off the table, it is the one exhausting method you have decided is the only way to get there.
THE KETO TRAP
When someone tells me they lost 20 pounds on keto in a month and a half, my next question is always whether they kept it off, and the answer is almost always no. If your real goal is to lose it and keep it off, then a strategy that gives you fast loss followed by full regain does not align with your goal at all. It is not that losing the weight is unrealistic, it is that the crash method and the crash timeline were never built to last.
AGE IS NOT THE REASON
Women in their fifties tell me they can never weigh what they did in their thirties because of their age, and I push back, because the data does not support that story. People do not gain weight simply because they age, they gain weight because they become more sedentary over the years. Getting lean and getting strong are things you can control at any age, so age is not the thing making your goal unrealistic.
CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
There is a real difference between the parts of your goal you can control and the parts you cannot, and losing that distinction keeps women stuck. You cannot fully control skin texture, stretch marks, or loose skin, and chasing those is where "unrealistic" actually applies. Muscle tone, strength, and body fat are fully in your control, so do not throw out the entire goal because of the few things you cannot change.
BETTER THAN BEFORE
I have loose skin and stretch marks from pregnancy, and I even had a reverse tummy tuck that did not erase them, because that part I simply cannot control. What I could control, I did, and my weight has stayed within five pounds of my Olympia-winning physique for years. I genuinely believe I look better now at 42 than I did in my twenties, because I stopped obsessing over what I could not change and poured everything into what I could.
THE INSTAGRAM CONVERSATION
I had a message this morning from a woman who believes menopause and old injuries mean it is easier to just stop trying. She looks younger than fifty, and even at fifty she likely has another 25 years to live. I do not want her, or you, spending those years surrendering to the things you cannot control instead of building on everything you still can.
MY OWN 22-YEAR TIMELINE
I am the daughter of a single mother, I moved to this country from Brazil with 350 dollars and no job at 20 years old, and I never dreamed I would have the life I have now. It took me 22 years to get here. Becoming successful was never unrealistic for someone who came from nothing, but expecting it in three years would have set me up to quit.
WHY LOTTERY WINNERS GO BROKE
The research shows a huge share of lottery winners lose it all or go bankrupt within a few years, and I think that is the same trap as trying to hit a fitness goal as fast as humanly possible. It is not that wealth or a fit body is unrealistic, it is that reaching it too fast skips the person you have to become to keep it. The lessons you learn in the process are the whole reason you get to hold onto the result.
QUESTION THE PLAN, NOT THE GOAL
Next time you go to ask whether your goal is realistic, I want you to ask a better question first: is my timeline realistic, and is my strategy realistic for the life I actually have? Stop interrogating the goal and start interrogating the plan. If you want help drawing that line, book a Clarity Power Call with me using the link in the show notes.
