Most of the women I coach tell me their body image doesn't affect how they show up at work, at home, or on date night, and they promise they leave it at the door. I believed I was just as good at setting hard things aside, until one day I couldn't.
In this episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast, I dig into the research on whether compartmentalizing actually works, using four studies that explain why pushing a thought away, hiding in baggy clothes, or telling yourself to move on tends to backfire. I also share what I see every day coaching women, including a story from one of our members that surprised both of us.
I walk through the one situation where compartmentalizing really does help, and a three-question test you can use on yourself. You may not love your answers, but you'll know where you stand. I'm a coach, not a clinician, so I explain these studies the way I see them play out with the women I work with.
In this episode, we talk about:
- Why I used to think I was great at compartmentalizing
- What the white bear study says about trying not to think about something
- How a swimsuit and a math test connect to the tight blazer you wear to work
- What an argument and playtime with a five-year-old reveal about hidden feelings
- Why leaving a room helps with work stress but not with body image
- Why baggy clothes can feel like compartmentalizing and what they leave out
- The three-question test to see if you can compartmentalize how you feel
- Why life is too short to wait for the perfect moment to take care of your body
Your body goes with you to every meeting, every game, and every dinner, so it makes sense that how you feel about it comes along too. You don't have to keep pretending it doesn't. If you're ready to take care of your body in a way that fits your real life, the Powerhouse Academy is where I help busy women do exactly that. Book a call below and let's talk about what that could look like for you.
Ever wish you had a fit and straightforward BFF with over 15 years of experience to help you filter through all the information regarding fitness, nutrition, and life? That's exactly what you'll get when you listen to the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast.
Join Former Bikini Olympia Champion, mom of 2, and fitness coach Nathalia Melo each week as she shares fitness, nutrition, and life tips to help busy working moms simplify their fitness journey so they can learn easy and simple strategies on how to lose weight and feel sexy AF.
After helping over 5000 busy working moms, Nathalia has found the blueprint to fitness, nutrition, and life success, which she will be sharing in this podcast: actionable tips that will help busy working moms be more present at work and at home.
This show is for you if you realize that nothing good comes from your comfort zone and are ready to challenge yourself to achieve great things. Follow Unfiltered Fit Life wherever you are listening to join us each week for a splash of sass, humor, and a whole lotta truth.
Podcast Transcript
Can You Really Compartmentalize How You Feel About Your Body?
THE REVIEW SHOUT OUT
I open the episode by thanking everyone who has been leaving reviews, especially on Apple Podcasts where I can read them. I share the latest one, from a member who has been in the Powerhouse Academy for 18 months and has kept her weight consistent for over a year. Hearing that this podcast lifts women up exactly when they need it made my day.
WHY I WANTED TO RECORD THIS EPISODE
I had been wanting to record this for a while, and I took my time looking at the data before I did. I explain that I always believed I was good at compartmentalizing, and that a recent call showed me I'm not. I'm in a very hard season with my family right now, and I share how it spilled into a conversation I couldn't handle the way I normally would.
WHAT I HEAR FROM WOMEN EVERY DAY
I talk with a lot of women who dread putting on shorts for their kids' soccer games or going through fifteen outfits before date night, yet insist none of it affects how they show up. They smile, fake it until they make it, and assume nobody notices. I'm a big believer in fake it until you make it for some things in life, but I don't think this is one of them.
A MEMBER'S STORY
I share a conversation with a member who told me her body image didn't touch her kids or her career. Nine weeks into the Powerhouse Academy, her young daughter told her out of nowhere that she looked so much happier, and she was invited to a big company event, which is a sign a promotion could be close. When I asked whether she had really been compartmentalizing as well as she thought, her answer was a firm no.
A QUICK DISCLAIMER
Before I get into the data, I make it clear that I'm not a licensed mental health professional, and nothing in this episode is meant to diagnose or treat anyone. I explain the studies as a coach, not as a clinician. If you're struggling with how you feel about your body or with food, I encourage you to reach out for support, and the Powerhouse Academy includes mental health professionals and registered dietitians.
THE WHITE BEAR STUDY
I walk through the white bear research, where people were told not to think about a white bear and ended up thinking about it more than people who were never given that instruction. A 2020 review of 31 studies found the same pattern: pushing a thought away makes it come back more often. I connect this to body image and to toxic body positivity, including well-meaning comments like "just don't think about it," which can backfire.
THE SWIMSUIT AND MATH TEST STUDY
I explain a 1998 study where college students wore either a swimsuit or a sweater while taking a hard math test. Women in swimsuits scored lower and reported more body shame, while the men's scores stayed the same in both outfits. I connect it to the tight blazers, restrictive pants, and ill-fitting scrubs women tell me about, and to how that discomfort drains focus and energy even when you don't notice it.
THE FIGHT AND PLAYTIME STUDY
I share a study where couples had a real argument and then played with their five-year-old. Parents who shut down or stayed stuck were less responsive to their child afterward, while parents who worked through their feelings did not show that drop. I ask you to think about how a morning of trying on seven outfits might carry into your workday and into how you treat the people around you.
WHEN COMPARTMENTALIZING DOES WORK
Compartmentalizing can work in the right situations, and I share two studies on it. In the original research, college students with many separate roles had less depression and illness after stress, though later studies found that effect inconsistent. Research on separating work from home found that physical separation, like leaving a room or a place, worked best, which helps explain how healthcare workers can close a chapter at the end of a shift. I also point out that constant access through email and text is making that kind of separation harder.
BAGGY CLOTHES AND THE ILLUSION OF COMPARTMENTALIZING
I share my own thought that wearing baggy clothes can feel like a form of compartmentalizing because it keeps you from looking at your body. The reminder is still there every time you shower, get dressed, or feel your body in your clothes. Hiding from the reflection doesn't remove the feeling.
THE THREE-QUESTION TEST
I give you a three-question test for whether you can compartmentalize something. Can you walk away from it, does it stay inside one role, and does the reminder show up once or all day? Body image fails all three because your body goes with you to every room, every role, and every reflection, even when you try to hide behind baggy clothes.
WHY I DON'T WANT YOU TO WAIT
I close by saying I don't want anyone to feel guilty or body shamed, and that my goal is to show through the data that the idea of compartmentalizing something attached to you 24/7 isn't supported. Watching someone close to me go through a hard time has changed how I see the value of health and how fragile life is. I invite you to stop waiting for the perfect moment, make choices that align with your goals, and take care of your body today. I also ask you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
