You’ve done the challenges.
Tried to track your macros.
Bought the meal plans and downloaded every tracker under the sun.
But something still feels… off.
You’re putting in the work. The effort is there.
And yet, the results?
Stalled.
Inconsistent.
Frustrating as hell.
In this episode, I’m joined by Coach Jen—licensed mental health pro, resident BS-caller, and monthly co-host—for a conversation that every woman stuck in the “I should know better” cycle needs to hear.
We’re not talking about protein goals or progressive overload (for once). And about what’s really keeping women stuck—and why mindset work alone isn’t enough.
Because if you’ve ever said:
“I just need more discipline.”
“I know what to do, I just don’t do it.”
“I’m smart, why can’t I figure this out?”
…this one’s for you.
Here’s what we’re digging into:
• The difference between “mindset hacks” and true mental health support
• Why childhood chaos often leads to control, perfectionism, and burnout
• How behaviors like people-pleasing and overtraining are actually coping mechanisms
• The truth about all-or-nothing thinking—and why it’s not your fault
• Why “just be grateful” is toxic advice in a fitness context
• How unresolved emotions show up in your routines, relationships, and results
• The real cost of pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t
• And why constantly chasing the next program is just a prettier form of self-sabotage
This isn’t a pep talk. It’s an honest look at what’s keeping high-achieving women stuck in cycles of effort without outcomes.
Because the problem isn’t that you’re lazy.
Or unmotivated.
Or not working hard enough.
The problem is that you’re treating a root issue with surface-level solutions.
And the longer you keep slapping on new band-aids, the more you start believing that you’re the problem. (Surprise: you’re not.)
Whether you’re stuck in the “always starting over” cycle, terrified to slow down, or clinging to perfection because you’re scared of what happens without it, this episode will meet you there.
It’s time to stop treating the symptom.
And start healing the actual wound.
You’re not failing because you lack discipline. You’re stuck because no one’s helped you look at the deeper patterns that got you here. – Nathalia
Let’s talk about it. Come find me on Instagram @nathaliamelofit and learn how the Powerhouse Academy helps ambitious women finally get results that last—without all the noise, shame, or self-sacrifice.
Related Episodes
84: The Hidden Impact of a Mom’s Behavior on Her Kids’ Health with Coach Jen
Connect with Nathalia
Apply for the Powerhouse Academy
Get my favorite pre-workout HERE
More about the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast
Ever wish you had a fit and straightforward BFF with over 15 years of experience to help you filter through all the information regarding fitness, nutrition, and life?
That’s exactly what you’ll get when you listen to the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast.
Join Former Bikini Olympia Champion, mom of 2, and fitness coach Nathalia Melo each week as she shares fitness, nutrition, and life tips to help busy working moms simplify their fitness journey so they can learn easy and simple strategies on how to lose weight and feel sexy AF.
After helping over 5000 busy working moms, Nathalia has found the blueprint to fitness, nutrition, and life success, which she will be sharing in this podcast: actionable tips that will help busy working moms be more present at work and at home.
This show is for you if you realize that nothing good comes from your comfort zone and are ready to challenge yourself to achieve great things. Follow Unfiltered Fit Life wherever you are listening to join us each week for a splash of sass, humor, and a whole lotta truth.
The podcast transcript for this episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast follows
Natalia Mello [00:00:05]
Hello there. I'm Natalia Mallou, your unfiltered fit bff, mom of two turned CEO of a fitness empire...
...I'm very excited actually to talk about the topic that we want to cover today because everybody out there, and I even hate using the word mindset sometimes because I feel like it's been very misused in the context of fitness...
Jennifer Lawson [00:02:14]
Your mindset is something that could ultimately be reviewed as temporary because it is and it's created... Whereas mental health experts spend time reviewing the causes, the relationship between the causes and how it translates to your overall behavior patterns, lifestyle...
How Childhood Patterns and Habits Sabotage Your Fitness Journey
Natalia Mello [00:04:29]
...a lot of women especially don't see the correlation between even their upbringing and how their mindset. And we're going to use mindset because it is the mostly known word to reference to what we're talking about.
Jennifer Lawson [00:05:44]
Well, if you think about it, it's your entire behavior patterns, which are all dictated by what you were programmed and or taught, which is through your upbringing, which created your behavior patterns, which are now habits...
Why Mindset Struggles Stick Around: Self-Responsibility, Vulnerability, and Relationships
Natalia Mello [00:07:27]
Why do people struggle to acknowledge that there is the mental health component of it? Do you think that it is truly because they don't know, or do you think that it is because they don't put the two and two together? Why do you think that is?
Jennifer Lawson [00:07:44]
I think it's a combination of. They don't put the two and two together because they think that they can manipulate and force their body to do what they want it to do...
Natalia Mello [00:10:02]
Do you think that there is also the layer of like the perfectionist mentality, the over nothing mentality...?
Jennifer Lawson [00:10:56]
Absolutely. But think about it. Where did you even learn that you needed to be a quote unquote perfectionist or all or nothing type personality? Where did that come from? It's a learned behavior...
Common Mindset Traps That Undermine Long-Term Fitness Success
Natalia Mello [00:12:16]
Type A personality they label themselves as. And when you have any sort of label, you know...
Jennifer Lawson [00:14:51]
But then we'll go onto that more. So you're very smart. You passed the bar, let's say, 15 years ago. What has now transpired over the course of 15 years to change in the laws that you now have to relearn and constantly learn...
Natalia Mello [00:16:20]
But from just speaking with a lot of women, some of the patterns that I see is like if you come from a very chaotic upbringing, you know, with addiction, with chaos of like constantly moving and constantly fighting some kind of abuse... those women, we normally tend to see them falling in one of these categories of the perfectionist mentality or nothing type A, which is that crave for control because they have lost control...
Treating Symptoms Instead of Causes: Why Quick Fixes Fail
Natalia Mello [00:18:00]
So what happens with these women that... just keep on jumping from think, oh, you know, this week I'm carnivore. Oh, you work. But then it didn't. And then, oh, you know, keto, my friend said that keto is the best thing...
Jennifer Lawson [00:18:34]
They're not ultimately understanding why they even feel the need to not remain consistent with one area modality of life style in their fitness journey...
Toxic Positivity in Fitness: The Dangers of Fake Acceptance
Natalia Mello [00:23:40]
First, let's explain, what do you perceive as toxic positivity?
Jennifer Lawson [00:24:07]
This is speaking specifically to your physical aesthetic. Wherever you might be physically is absolutely, perfectly okay. Regardless, if you feel comfortable not inside, you're going to convince yourself that I am beautiful, I'm powerful, I'm strong...
Natalia Mello [00:28:43]
And that's, I think, where a lot of people get lost in the sauce. You know...
Long-Term Consequences: What Happens If You Don’t Address Mindset and Mental Health
Jennifer Lawson [00:29:54]
Not Being able to function as, let's say an, an older person, you know, as you get into your elderly stages of life as a female, we do lose bone density. It's a fact...
Natalia Mello [00:31:41]
When you convince yourself that there's always tomorrow, you then allow a layer of ultimately laziness to filter in and it becomes that much harder...
How the Powerhouse Academy Approaches Mindset and Mental Health
Natalia Mello [00:33:28]
But what are some of the things that you see that we do differently in the powerhouse academy because of that mental health perspective? I have some ideas, but I would love to hear yours.
Jennifer Lawson [00:33:40]
Well, I know, Kirst, I read people's behavior patterns. I pay very close attention to behavior patterns...
Natalia Mello [00:35:40]
But within the system there is fluidity because if it was just like woo, then there would be no rhyme and reason and we wouldn't be able to replicate the success...
Why Therapy Isn’t Enough: The Need for Fitness-Specific Mental Health Support
Natalia Mello [00:39:19]
And I love that for us, I think, like, I'm a big fan of counseling, big fan of counseling. But what I'm also noticing is that people are like, oh, I already have a counselor here, so I'm not gonna need it in this area of the fitness, which couldn't be farther from the truth...
Jennifer Lawson [00:40:05]
So I'm going to preface though by saying yes, if you are seeing a therapist on a weekly, bi weekly or even monthly basis, I will ultimately need to understand that and know that because it does potentially become a conflict of interest within my personal practice...
Natalia Mello [00:42:12]
And like I would never tell that person, oh no, ditch that, that coach because it's a conflict. No, because there is a very high level of specificity to what that coach is doing... And I think that that's the same thing with the counseling aspect...
Final Truth: You Can’t Outrun the Real Work
Natalia Mello [00:50:19]
Yeah, I think that the main. The main point, I think that off this. This episode today, if you take anything from. From this, is for you to have an honest look at yourself in the mirror...
Jennifer Lawson [00:51:03]
Right. And I say often, take, like I said, five minutes and sit on the end of your bed. If you can sit on the end of your bed for five minutes with a clear mind and an absolute sense of peace and happiness within your heart, then you're on the right path...
Natalia Mello [00:53:04]
I'll see you back next week for another episode of the unfiltered Fit Life podcast.
