- Why pretending to be confident is not the same as feeling it
- The harm in being told to “just be grateful” when you’re struggling with how you look
- How body image can affect your marriage, your motherhood, your career—even your memories
- Why wanting to look good isn’t shallow, it’s human
- The gaslighting that happens when we confuse self-love with self-denial
- How being honest with yourself is the first step to real change
Wanting more doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re done pretending. - Nathalia
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More about the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast
Ever wish you had a fit and straightforward BFF with over 15 years of experience to help you filter through all the information regarding fitness, nutrition, and life?
That’s exactly what you’ll get when you listen to the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast.
Join Former Bikini Olympia Champion, mom of 2, and fitness coach Nathalia Melo each week as she shares fitness, nutrition, and life tips to help busy working moms simplify their fitness journey so they can learn easy and simple strategies on how to lose weight and feel sexy AF.
After helping over 5000 busy working moms, Nathalia has found the blueprint to fitness, nutrition, and life success, which she will be sharing in this podcast: actionable tips that will help busy working moms be more present at work and at home.
This show is for you if you realize that nothing good comes from your comfort zone and are ready to challenge yourself to achieve great things. Follow Unfiltered Fit Life wherever you are listening to join us each week for a splash of sass, humor, and a whole lotta truth.
The podcast transcript for this episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast follows
Why This Episode Matters: The Real Harm of Toxic Positivity
Natalia Mello [00:00:53]
Hello, fam, and welcome to another episode. Today’s topic is close to my heart—born from countless conversations in my DMs, coaching calls, and comments on live trainings.
The aim of this episode isn’t to shame anyone; it’s to set women free from the guilt and internal conflict so many experience around body image and self-love.
If you’re not ready to hear some hard truths, that’s absolutely okay, but if you ARE, buckle up—this conversation is for you.
When “You Should Just Love Yourself” Becomes Toxic
Natalia Mello [00:02:42]
A recent conversation stood out: a woman confessed her struggle wearing a swimsuit in front of her child because of body embarrassment. The relief in her voice when I acknowledged her feelings said everything.
There’s a growing, toxic trend in body positivity—women are told they “should” be grateful, “should” love themselves at any size, “should” wear the swimsuit, but we rarely stop to ask: do you really feel that way?
Pretending you do, when you don’t, is gaslighting yourself into hiding real feelings and needs.
Owning Your Desires Is Not a Crime
Natalia Mello [00:05:01]
There’s no shame in wanting to lose weight, gain muscle, or look “like a bad bitch.” Yet, society often labels these desires as vain, ungrateful, or shallow.
Too often, women miss out on memories with their kids, avoid summer outings, or wear layers in brutal weather—not out of real preference, but because they don’t feel comfortable in their bodies.
Gratitude for what your body can do and wanting to look and feel better are not mutually exclusive.
The Guilt & Shame Swirl: Why Wanting More Isn’t Wrong
Natalia Mello [00:08:40]
Can you love your body and still want to change it? YES.
The conflict arises when society tells us that wanting more is a “betrayal” of gratitude. But suppressing your real feelings only sows disconnection and shame.
Wanting to wear shorts, rock a bikini, or just feel confident isn’t about vanity—it’s about living fully.
True confidence radiates from alignment: being honest about what you want and honoring it.
Stop Pretending: The Power of Radical Honesty with Yourself
Natalia Mello [00:13:29]
Many high-achieving women—CEOs, attorneys, leaders—privately admit: the mask of confidence at work doesn’t match how they feel about themselves at home.
When you fake it for too long, it’s emotionally draining. Real, lasting change begins with self-honesty.
Are your actions supporting your REAL goals, or are you half-assing and rationalizing with “shoulds?” Happiness starts with owning what you really want, not what others think you should want.
From Complacency to Taking Control: Living Your Best Life
Natalia Mello [00:18:48]
This isn’t about shaming women who truly love themselves now (and if that’s you, awesome!).
But if what I’m saying hits home, stop minimizing your desires or people-pleasing. You deserve better.
There’s no better way to celebrate your body than by caring for it and honoring your ambitions—whether that’s strength, confidence, or rocking that G-string with zero self-consciousness.
Permission to Want More: It’s Yours for the Taking
Natalia Mello [00:22:10]
Wanting to upgrade anything else in life (a car, home, wardrobe) isn’t seen as shameful—so why is upgrading your body?
Loving what your body has done AND wanting more are not opposites.
Stop living by a black-and-white, dichotomous mindset. You can love your journey, love your body, and want to level up—all at the same time.
Your Best Life Requires Your Truth
Natalia Mello [00:24:30]
We can only solve problems we’re willing to admit exist.
Forget the “shoulds.” Ask yourself: How do you REALLY feel? What would change if you dropped the guilt and were honest about the changes you crave?
When you start living in alignment with your truth, everyone around you benefits—especially your family.
You Set the Standard: Be the One Who Breaks the Cycle
Natalia Mello [00:27:03]
You living in your truth might just inspire the people around you to do the same.
Ignore the projections and judgments of others. This is your life—why not make the most of it?
Be the first in your friend group to break free, live unapologetically, and thrive.
This Is Your Permission Slip
Natalia Mello [00:29:06]
This episode isn’t about judging anyone for how they look—it’s about giving YOU permission to pursue what you really want.
Get in the driver’s seat of your own life and watch the magic unfold.
If this resonated, leave a review, reach out with your thoughts, and keep tuning in for more real talk.
