Most women think confidence comes after the results. After the weight loss. After they finally feel motivated.
In this episode of The Unfiltered Fit Life, I sit down with Coach Jen, head coach at Powerhouse Academy and licensed counselor, for our monthly Unfiltered and Unscripted conversation about what confidence really is and why so many women misunderstand it.
Confidence isn’t about liking what you see in the mirror. It isn’t about waiting to feel ready and it isn’t built through chasing the next new trend.
It’s built through follow-through.
We talk about:
• why confidence isn’t about motivation or vibes
• how lack of follow-through slowly erodes self-trust
• the obsession with novelty in fitness and wellness
• toxic positivity and over-grace
• and powerful research showing how lifestyle choices directly impact mental health
This episode is direct. It’s honest. And it’s a reminder that confidence doesn’t magically appear.
It compounds.
And it starts with keeping promises to yourself.
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More about the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast
Ever wish you had a fit and straightforward BFF with over 15 years of experience to help you filter through all the information regarding fitness, nutrition, and life?
That’s exactly what you’ll get when you listen to the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast.
Join Former Bikini Olympia Champion, mom of 2, and fitness coach Nathalia Melo each week as she shares fitness, nutrition, and life tips to help busy working moms simplify their fitness journey so they can learn easy and simple strategies on how to lose weight and feel sexy AF.
After helping over 5000 busy working moms, Nathalia has found the blueprint to fitness, nutrition, and life success, which she will be sharing in this podcast: actionable tips that will help busy working moms be more present at work and at home.
This show is for you if you realize that nothing good comes from your comfort zone and are ready to challenge yourself to achieve great things. Follow Unfiltered Fit Life wherever you are listening to join us each week for a splash of sass, humor, and a whole lotta truth.
The podcast transcript for this episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast follows
Why Confidence Isn’t a Feeling (And What Builds It)
Introduction
Nathalia Melo opens the episode by introducing the monthly Unfiltered and Unscripted segment with Jen Lawson, head coach at Powerhouse Academy and licensed counselor. She sets up the conversation around confidence, especially at the start of a new year, and frames it as something widely misunderstood.
Defining Confidence: Self-Trust Over Vibes
Nathalia shares her definition of confidence as the ability to trust yourself to follow through, even when things are uncomfortable, boring, or imperfect. Jen expands on this by explaining that confidence is rooted in knowing your core values and being able to project your truth outwardly rather than internalizing outside expectations.
Follow-Through Builds Trust
The conversation moves into the relationship between trust and action. Jen explains that trust is earned through repeated follow-through, just like in any relationship. Nathalia reinforces that confidence follows action, and that lack of action leads directly to lack of confidence.
Confidence Is Not a Feeling
They discuss the modern obsession with “vibes” and motivation. Nathalia challenges the idea that confidence should feel good, arguing instead that it’s built through doing what you said you would do, regardless of how you feel.
Fitness, Results, and the Illusion of Confidence
The discussion shifts to fitness. They unpack the belief that confidence comes after weight loss or physical change. Nathalia shares how women often tie confidence to appearance, while ignoring the process that actually builds it.
The “I Know What to Do” Trap
Nathalia calls out the common phrase, “I know what to do,” and questions why, if that were true, the results aren’t there. The conversation explores ego, avoidance, and the discomfort of admitting that knowledge without execution changes nothing.
Mental Health and Lifestyle Choices
Jen introduces research showing the powerful connection between lifestyle and mental health. They discuss how movement, nutrition, sleep, and daily habits significantly impact anxiety, depression, and emotional stability, and how lifestyle plays a much larger role than many people realize.
Success Leaves Clues
Nathalia and Jen reflect on high-performing individuals and the consistency in their routines. They highlight how successful people prioritize movement, structure, and discipline regardless of how busy their lives are.
The Obsession With Novelty
The conversation turns to the constant search for new workouts, new protocols, and new trends. They discuss how chasing novelty creates confusion and prevents long-term commitment to one path.
Over-Complication and Overwhelm
They examine the extremes of wellness culture — from neglecting health entirely to over-complicating it with excessive steps and rigid rules. They discuss how overwhelm erodes confidence and makes consistency nearly impossible.
Toxic Positivity and Over-Grace
Jen addresses the danger of ego-stroking and excessive validation. They talk about the importance of radical honesty and how avoiding hard truths prevents growth.
Ego, Identity, and Growth
The episode touches on maturity and self-reflection. Nathalia acknowledges how perspectives evolve over time and how letting go of ego is necessary for building real confidence.
Closing Reflections
The episode ends with a reminder that confidence compounds through consistency. Nathalia and Jen emphasize that self-trust is built by keeping promises to yourself and that confidence is the result of repeated follow-through, not fleeting motivation.
