You’re doing everything “right”—checking the boxes, putting your family first, saying yes to the school projects, the sports, the chaos. But behind the busy schedule and the brave face... you're tired. Disconnected. Invisible in your own life.
And when someone suggests taking time for yourself, moving your body, eating better, or simply sitting in silence? Cue the mom guilt.
That creeping voice whispering, “Who do you think you are?” if you even consider prioritizing your needs.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. But in this episode, Coach Jen and I are breaking down what that guilt is really costing you: your energy, your presence, your marriage, and your health.
This conversation is your permission slip to stop overextending, stop overcompensating, and start investing in yourself as a mom. Because martyrdom isn’t motherhood, and burnout is not the badge of honor you think it is.
Here’s what we unpack:
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The high emotional and physical toll of mom guilt
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Why putting yourself last sabotages your health and your kids’ well-being
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The silent damage: how guilt shows up in your marriage and your mirror
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Why confidence after motherhood is your most powerful tool
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The truth about overcoming guilt as a mom and what it teaches your children
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How guilt affects your parenting, even if you “never say it out loud”
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What a sustainable routine and fitness for busy moms really looks like
This isn’t surface-level self-care talk. We’re exploring the invisible weight that many women carry, and how it manifests in their bodies, marriages, mindsets, and reflections.
How can you expect your child to be disciplined, resilient, and coachable if you’re not willing to model it yourself? - Coach Jen
If you’ve ever skipped the photo, stayed on the sidelines, canceled a trip because of shorts, or told yourself “next year,” this is for you. Your kids don’t just need your presence… they need your joy. Your energy. Your example.
This episode is about breaking the cycle of mom guilt, getting real about how it sneaks into every part of your life, and learning how to reclaim your time, strength, and sense of self without apology.
Ready to ditch the guilt, feel good again, and get back into the photo (and the pool)? Let’s talk.
Connect with me on Instagram @nathaliamelofit, or check out the Powerhouse Academy. We help women build lasting confidence, one workout, one meal, one mindset shift at a time.
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More about the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast
Ever wish you had a fit and straightforward BFF with over 15 years of experience to help you filter through all the information regarding fitness, nutrition, and life?
That’s exactly what you’ll get when you listen to the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast.
Join Former Bikini Olympia Champion, mom of 2, and fitness coach Nathalia Melo each week as she shares fitness, nutrition, and life tips to help busy working moms simplify their fitness journey so they can learn easy and simple strategies on how to lose weight and feel sexy AF.
After helping over 5000 busy working moms, Nathalia has found the blueprint to fitness, nutrition, and life success, which she will be sharing in this podcast: actionable tips that will help busy working moms be more present at work and at home.
This show is for you if you realize that nothing good comes from your comfort zone and are ready to challenge yourself to achieve great things. Follow Unfiltered Fit Life wherever you are listening to join us each week for a splash of sass, humor, and a whole lotta truth.
The podcast transcript for this episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast follows
Natalia [00:00:00]
Hello. Hello there, fam. Welcome to another episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast. I'm Natalia Mello, your host, and today I have Coach Jen back with us. Hi, Jen.
Jennifer Lawson [00:00:10]
Hey, guys.
Natalia [00:00:11]
We need a name for the segment that we like for our episode that is being like a monthly episode for the past, what, like three months, four months? We need a name...
Jennifer Lawson [00:00:24]
I'm not creative, so open for suggestions.
Natalia [00:00:28]
I know we should do something, like, on Instagram and, like, let people—because I think we need a name anyway...
Why We’re Talking About Mom Guilt and “Life Guilt” Now
Natalia [00:00:53]
I was saying that I've seen a hundred percent increase on this particular topic, more than I had seen the whole of the past year. And we're like, we have to talk.
Jennifer Lawson [00:01:03]
About it and why. Ultimately figuring out why. Why all of a sudden it's become so significant after so long of not seeing it.
Natalia [00:01:11]
Yeah, so the topic that we are going to be talking about today is mom guilt or life guilt and understanding what is really costing you...
What Is Mom Guilt Really Costing You?
Natalia [00:01:47]
...That sinking guilt of, like, wanting to take time for ourselves, of investing ourselves, of doing something that isn't directly for our family, because goodness forbid we have interest outside of just being a mother, a wife, and a worker, and yet we're exhausted, we're miserable, we're unhealthy, we're disconnected from our bodies, our partners, and ironically, the very family we're trying to show up for is getting the leftovers.
Jennifer Lawson [00:02:18]
Yeah...
Natalia [00:03:05]
...Doesn't it become a little bit dichotomous that you're like, do they deserve more than me? But isn't this almost like what comes first? Egg or the chicken? Because if they deserve more than you, which I think is a feeling that a lot of moms and women experience, wouldn't you showing up as the best version of yourself be giving them the most valuable thing that they can have is a mom.
The Ripple Effect of Guilt: Health, Confidence, and Family Connections
Jennifer Lawson [00:03:57]
But we're raising our children in an unconditional love capacity. But then we're putting standards which are conditions on self.
Natalia [00:04:00]
Yeah... I want anybody listening to know that we're coming from a place where Jen is a single mom. She has two kids who like, need her as, you know, the, the primary caretaker...
Natalia [00:04:31]
I have two kids as well, and I'm constantly being pulled in all directions. My husband just changed career, so we get it in the extent of more like self care in health and fitness. I know that a lot of the women listening are thinking, you know, I just want to feel good again. I want to play with my kids without needing to lie down right after...
Are You Really Showing Up for Your Kids—Or Just Present?
Natalia [00:05:24]
Isn't that removing or not giving your child something that for them is probably more important than the club soccer or the club, whatever, that they're invested, that they're involved in?
Jennifer Lawson [00:05:24]
Well, think about it. When you're not even choosing to remove yourself from your place of quote, unquote, comfort because you're putting yourself into an uncomfortable position by being out on the soccer field, let's say your child is translating that to be that my mom's actually not present...
Natalia [00:06:30]
Really? Are you're tired or is it that you don't want to get up and play and do the things? So, yes, you show up, but are you really showing up? Are you really being a part of the story or are you watching the story?
Guilt, Shame, and the Hidden Costs of Self-Neglect
Natalia [00:07:05]
And piggybacking on that. Like, the shame. And I think that even whenever we have these conversations, it can be perceived as like, oh, we're like body shaming or a fat shaming. No, what we are talking about here today are very real and honest conversations that we hear...
Jennifer Lawson [00:08:01]
...when you are radiating that lie that you're telling yourself, your kids know it, and then what are you teaching them?
How “Unconditional Love” Gets Misunderstood—and Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
Natalia [00:12:40]
...We're giving, just giving, giving, giving everything to our kids because that's where we're conditioned like that...I'm all for the unconditional love, but I don't think that unconditional love equals self destruction.
Jennifer Lawson [00:13:38]
...But the idea of taking care of yourself in order to take care of others makes sense. It's logical. And that's not conditional. That's unconditional...
The Long-Term Impact: What Happens When We Put Ourselves Last
Natalia [00:16:02]
...What are the, the, the consequences that you're seeing? Because you know, and obviously without getting into details for confidentiality with your, your patients, but what are the things that we are seeing with the generation that has been just given everything because a parent maybe has, has like the guilt...
Jennifer Lawson [00:17:00]
Well, ultimately, one side effect is that they then expect every single relationship that they're ultimately in, whether it's friendships or personal relationships, in an intimate capacity with significant others...they expect to receive every single ounce of their being...
People-Pleasing, Prioritizing Everyone Else, and the Vicious Cycle
Natalia [00:18:36]
And it never fails that the person just like, it's almost like they've been hit in the back of the head with a brick. Because it really is a reality check...
The True Financial and Emotional Costs of Neglecting Self-Care
Natalia [00:25:39]
Baseball and softball cost between three and $8,000 plus a year. Soccer between 2500 and 10,000...Ice hockey between five and 15 grand plus a year. Cheer, dance, gymnastics, you're looking upwards to 12 grand...
Natalia [00:26:09]
So then I'm like, okay, let's look about the cost benefit...
Jennifer Lawson [00:27:25]
Four years at eighteen grand. Let's say playing again, going the higher end...But you're only at 52 grand. So you're still in the red.
Broken Marriages, Grown-Up Kids, and the Domino Effect of Self-Sacrifice
Jennifer Lawson [00:29:12]
The I can say with confidence that I work with a very good number of young adults and the parents stayed ultimately together until the kids did go off to college because then they thought their kids would be on their own. And then they ultimately got divorced because they did not nurture their marriage the entire time because they were too busy giving to their children...
Natalia [00:30:09]
And if we want to talk numbers, I got data on that. The average cost of a divorce in the US is about 15 to 20 thousand dollars per person...
Guilt at Work: How Confidence Impacts Career and Pay
Natalia [00:38:24]
According to a 2014 study published in the Journal of Economic Psychology, people who rate themselves as more confident...earn between 10 and 30% more than those that don't...
Natalia [00:39:20]
A Career Builder survey found that 77% of employers said that appearance can affect promotion. Employees who are perceived as more put together or fit...are often seen as more disciplined...
Why Taking Care of Yourself Is Essential: The Solution and Final Takeaways
Jennifer Lawson [00:43:21]
Well, hopefully, you know, obviously listening to the conversation we had will bring some light to just open up the flow of conversation with those that have been there, that can give you pieces of advice...
Natalia [00:46:55]
Is it really worth putting everybody's happiness—everybody's gonna have a good time and you're gonna be miserable. But they're trying to convince themselves that it's like, oh, but it's just gonna be so good. It's gonna be good for who? It's not gonna be good for you...
Jennifer Lawson [00:47:16]
How to hit home with the ultimate questioning behind that thought process...
Don’t Wait for “What If”—Start Now
Jennifer Lawson [00:52:18]
Don't do the what if.
Natalia [00:52:20]
Yeah, there is. I'm gonna leave with a quote. It's a Chinese proverb. You probably have heard this. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now...
Have a Suggestion? Let Us Know!
Natalia [00:52:30]
Thank you so much for listening. Make sure that you leave your comments, leave a review. Let us know what is the next topic that you want us to talk about? Send me a message on the gram or we have the fan mail link in the show notes. Send a fan mail about something that you'd like Jen and I to talk about. And if you have any suggestions for what we should call these episodes, holler.
Jennifer Lawson [00:52:55]
Thanks, guys. Thank you.
