When life gets tough, you have two choices: Will you play the victim or buckle up and make shit happen? When Roger and I moved from Northern Ireland to Texas with our two babies, we literally started from scratch. I could bitch and complain about all the challenges we faced, but that's just not my style! Instead, I choose to see these challenges as opportunities for growth.
In this episode, I'm sharing the six lessons I learned from our transition to the States. If you're going through a difficult situation, this episode will help you kick that victim mentality to the curb and see that life is happening for you, not to you!
Topics Covered:
- The challenges of moving to the US with two babies
- How we reverse-engineered our problems
- How these challenges helped us grow
- The six lessons we learned from this experience
What challenges have you grown from? I would love to know! Follow me on Instagram to let me know what topics you want to hear more about or who I should have on the show.
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More about the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast
Ever wish you had a fit and straightforward BFF with over 15 years of experience to help you filter through all the information regarding fitness, nutrition, and life?
That’s exactly what you’ll get when you listen to the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast.
Join Former Bikini Olympia Champion, mom of 2, and fitness coach Nathalia Melo each week as she shares fitness, nutrition, and life tips to help busy working moms simplify their fitness journey so they can learn easy and simple strategies on how to lose weight and feel sexy AF.
After helping over 5000 busy working moms, Nathalia has found the blueprint to fitness, nutrition, and life success, which she will be sharing in this podcast: actionable tips that will help busy working moms be more present at work and at home.
This show is for you if you realize that nothing good comes from your comfort zone and are ready to challenge yourself to achieve great things. Follow Unfiltered Fit Life wherever you are listening to join us each week for a splash of sass, humor, and a whole lotta truth.
The podcast transcript for this episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast follows
Hello, hello, fam! Welcome to another episode of The Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast. I’m your host, Nathalia Melo, and I’m so excited to be here with you today!
Before diving into today’s topic, I want to share something I recently heard on Bedros Keuilian’s podcast. He was sharing his story about coming from very humble beginnings, living in Section 8 housing, and building himself into the success he is today. Someone accused him of being “privileged,” and his response hit me hard:
“Fuck my privilege. Fuck your privilege.”
It resonated with me because I understand that journey—when you’ve worked for everything you have, yet people want to reduce it to privilege. I felt that in my soul.
Now, back to today’s episode. I’m sharing the story of our big move—how my family transitioned from living in Northern Ireland to starting over in Texas. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t smooth sailing. But it’s also one of the most valuable learning experiences of my life.
The Unexpected Twist
When Roger, my husband, retired from playing professional rugby, we had this plan: move to the U.S., settle in, and then have our second child.
But life had other ideas.
I got pregnant with our daughter, Chloe, when our son, Nico, was just a few months old. It threw a wrench into our plans, but looking back, it was the best thing that could’ve happened. Having Chloe while we were still in Northern Ireland meant we had the support of family.
Roger retired in August 2017, Chloe was born in September, and by May 2018, with a nine-month-old and a toddler, we said, “It’s now or never!” We packed up everything—seven suitcases, a shipping container of essentials—and moved to Texas.
Reality Check: Starting From Scratch
When we arrived in Texas, the challenges started immediately. We had:
- No house.
- No credit (my U.S. credit was dormant, and Roger had none).
- No car.
- No bank account.
- And, most importantly, no help with the kids.
We rented an Airbnb for a month and told ourselves we’d find a place to live in that time. But without credit, renting a house was almost impossible. We ended up paying six months of rent upfront just to secure a home.
Buying cars? Same story—we had to pay in cash. Even opening a bank account and getting phones was a massive headache.
We had come with a set budget, but the expenses skyrocketed. What we thought would cost X ended up being 25X. By month three, most of our savings were gone.
The Hustle Begins
Roger started working 14-15 hours a day almost immediately. I had to juggle taking care of two small children, setting up our new home, and growing my business—all without help.
But I refused to let these challenges hold me back. Here’s how I managed:
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Leveraging Gym Childcare:
I found a gym that offered childcare for up to three hours. It wasn’t cheap, but it was far more affordable than traditional childcare. I’d work out for one hour, then spend the next two hours working on my business in their lounge with my laptop.
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Nap-Time Hustle:
Once the kids were down for their naps, I’d squeeze in another two to three hours of work.
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Structured Priorities:
I couldn’t afford to waste time. Every minute counted. If I missed my gym slot or nap-time work window, that time was gone forever.
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Outsourcing Strategically:
As my business grew, I reinvested in help. Initially, I hired a babysitter to come twice a week for two hours. Over time, as we could afford it, I expanded those hours.
Lessons Learned from the Struggle
Looking back, the challenges we faced taught me invaluable lessons:
1. Life Happens for You, Not to You
It’s easy to fall into the victim mentality. “Why me? Why is this so hard?” But instead, I chose to see every obstacle as an opportunity to grow. Every setback forced me to become more effective, resourceful, and resilient.
2. Communicate Your Needs
In those early days, I tried to do everything myself. But my husband isn’t a mind reader. When I finally opened up about what I needed, we found ways to share the load. Communication is key in any partnership.
3. Don’t Wait for Perfect Timing
If I had waited for the “perfect” time to grow my business, it would’ve never happened. Success comes from taking imperfect action. Start where you are, with what you have.
4. Outsource When You Can
When you’re drowning in responsibilities, it’s okay to get help. Whether it’s hiring someone to clean your house or watch your kids, look at the value of your time and outsource the tasks that don’t align with your goals.
5. Stop Comparing Yourself
Don’t waste energy speculating about other people’s lives. Focus on your own journey. Someone else’s success isn’t a reflection of your worth.
6. Hard Work Makes Success Sweeter
The struggles we faced moving to Texas made every win more meaningful. Knowing how hard we worked for our home and our life here fills me with gratitude every single day.
The Importance of Nurturing Your Relationship
One of the biggest lessons we’ve learned as a couple is the importance of prioritizing each other. It’s easy to let life turn you into “Mom and Dad” and forget that you’re a couple first.
Early on, we realized we needed to carve out time for date nights and intentional connection. At first, that meant finding a babysitter to stay with the kids while I worked from home to build trust. Over time, we found people we could rely on so we could step away and spend quality time together.
Moving from Northern Ireland to Texas wasn’t easy. It was messy, exhausting, and at times, overwhelming. But it also made us stronger—as individuals, as a couple, and as a family.
The journey taught me to embrace challenges as opportunities and to approach life with gratitude and resilience. And I hope it inspires you to do the same.
Remember: Nothing worth having comes easy. But the hard work makes the success that much sweeter.
Thank you so much for tuning in! If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to share it with your friends, hit that subscribe button, and connect with me on social media to let me know your thoughts.
Until next time, adios, and I’ll see you soon!
