- How societal expectations shape marriage dynamics (and sometimes make things harder).
- Why lack of self-worth and fear of conflict can quietly sabotage your relationship.
- The surprising connection between fitness, self-care, and marital satisfaction.
- Practical strategies to improve communication and build a stronger partnership.
Practice your pause because you have to recognize that there's a time and a place for every conversation. - Coach Jen
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More about the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast
Ever wish you had a fit and straightforward BFF with over 15 years of experience to help you filter through all the information regarding fitness, nutrition, and life?
That’s exactly what you’ll get when you listen to the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast.
Join Former Bikini Olympia Champion, mom of 2, and fitness coach Nathalia Melo each week as she shares fitness, nutrition, and life tips to help busy working moms simplify their fitness journey so they can learn easy and simple strategies on how to lose weight and feel sexy AF.
After helping over 5000 busy working moms, Nathalia has found the blueprint to fitness, nutrition, and life success, which she will be sharing in this podcast: actionable tips that will help busy working moms be more present at work and at home.
This show is for you if you realize that nothing good comes from your comfort zone and are ready to challenge yourself to achieve great things. Follow Unfiltered Fit Life wherever you are listening to join us each week for a splash of sass, humor, and a whole lotta truth.
This episode is brought to you in partnership with Leah Bryant Co.
The podcast transcript for this episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life podcast follows
[Nathalia] Hello, hello there, fam. Welcome to another episode of the Unfiltered Fit Life Podcast.
I'm Natalia Mello, your host, and today we have Coach Jen, my head coach in the Powerhouse Academy. She is a licensed counselor with many years of experience and was a fitness professional for 17 years. Jen also works with young adults and teenagers, helping them develop a better relationship with themselves and their parents.
Monthly Episodes with Coach Jen
Jen and I will be recording an episode every single month. If you missed last month's episode, I'll link it in the show notes. If there's a topic you'd like us to discuss, send me a fan mail!
Expectations in Marriage
[Nathalia] Today, we're talking about marriage, self-care, and fitness and how they impact relationships. Jen, before we got on air, you were talking about expectations in marriage. Let’s start there.
[Coach Jen] Marriage today lacks proper communication. Many people jump into marriage without understanding the necessary communication skills, or even who they are as individuals. This creates a weak foundation, leading to struggles later in life.
The Role of Communication in Marriage
[Nathalia] This conversation started when I was talking to my husband, Roger, about a woman who wanted to join our program but said her husband wasn’t okay with the investment. She expressed feeling depressed, avoiding photos with her kids, and lacking intimacy with her husband. Roger asked me, “Does he know that?” And it hit me—many women don’t communicate their struggles clearly to their husbands.
How Miscommunication Affects Intimacy
[Coach Jen] Women often struggle to express their feelings about their bodies without sounding superficial. Husbands, in turn, try to reassure them with compliments, but that doesn’t address the deeper issue. Men are more literal, while women are emotionally driven. This creates a disconnect.
Men Can’t Fix What They Don’t Understand
[Nathalia] It’s unfair to expect men to advocate for a problem they don’t even know exists. Women assume their husbands should “just know,” but that’s unrealistic. Communication is key to breaking these patterns.
Women Settling in Relationships
[Coach Jen] Many women avoid confrontation because they fear backlash, failure, or simply believe they’re not worthy of prioritizing themselves. They settle into these roles, believing that’s just how things are.
[Nathalia] There’s a misconception that the absence of conflict equals a good relationship. But true peace comes from honest communication, not avoidance.
Breaking the Cycle of Self-Neglect
[Coach Jen] Women often define themselves by roles—wife, mother—without cultivating their own identity. This mindset is shaped by childhood programming, societal expectations, and sometimes, a lack of a strong father figure.
Setting an Example for Children
[Nathalia] A question I often ask is: How would you feel if your daughter felt the way you do now? Every time, the answer is heartbreak. We teach our kids by example. If we want them to have healthy self-worth, we need to model it.
The Role of Fitness in Self-Worth
[Coach Jen] Fitness is a powerful tool for personal growth. When you respect your body and set boundaries, others will follow your lead. Misery attracts misery, but confidence attracts respect.
Challenging Traditional Gender Roles
[Nathalia] Women often take on household responsibilities without questioning why. For example, when we moved to the U.S., I insisted on hiring a cleaner because my time is valuable. This was foreign to Roger, but I made my case logically.
[Coach Jen] I had the opposite experience—I felt guilty hiring a cleaner because I was raised to believe it was my role. That guilt made me devalue myself in my marriage.
How to Start Difficult Conversations
[Coach Jen] Start by asking your spouse, Can we have an honest conversation about something I’ve been feeling? This prevents them from getting defensive and opens the door for real dialogue.
[Nathalia] I’ve found that writing letters helps. It allows me to express myself without making the conversation feel like a business meeting.
The Dangers of Extremes in Fitness
[Nathalia] I once spoke with a woman training three hours a day, seven days a week, who was exhausted, missing time with her kids, and struggling at work. Yet, her husband refused to invest in a solution for her. That mindset keeps women trapped in unhealthy cycles.
[Coach Jen] Children observe everything. If they see a mother constantly overextending herself, they will internalize that as normal.
Seeking Help and Changing the Narrative
[Nathalia] If this conversation resonated with you, what’s the next step? Seek help. Find a counselor, talk to someone who can give an outside perspective.
[Coach Jen] There are many online therapy options, as well as local professionals through your doctor or faith-based organizations. The key is to start somewhere.
Final Thoughts
[Nathalia] This isn’t about pushing divorce—it’s about improving relationships. We’ll do another episode on the myth that “the grass is greener on the other side.” But for now, start with self-reflection and honest communication.
[Coach Jen] Everything starts from within. The work you do on yourself will reflect in every aspect of your life.
[Nathalia] Thanks for listening! If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend and let us know what topics you’d like us to cover next!
